Admission Decision Etiquette: How to Handle Acceptances, Waitlists, and Denials

How you respond to an admission decision speaks volumes about your family and your respect for the process. Here’s a quick guide on the proper etiquette to follow.

If your child receives an acceptance letter

Respond Promptly to the decision notification:

• If you decide to accept the admission offer, make sure to inform the school as soon as possible. The school is as excited as you are about your child’s acceptance and they will be thrilled to find out that your family will be joining the school community.  Many private schools have a deadline by which you need to confirm your child’s spot. If you have more than one acceptance and you know that you will not be enrolling in a school, you should tell that school as soon as possible so that they can offer the spot to another student. It is polite and kind to let go of spaces when you are certain that you will not be accepting.  Families in the waitpool will be overjoyed to hear from the school as soon as a space becomes available.

  Express Gratitude:

• Whether you accept the offer or not, take the time to thank the admissions team for considering your child. A brief, polite note of thanks shows appreciation for the time and effort spent reviewing your application and getting to know your family.

  Please note that the order you do things in is important:

• Be sure to lock in your spot at the school you want to send your child to BEFORE you let go of other options. Make sure you have signed the contract and paid your deposit at the school you are enrolling in and THEN tell other schools you will not be accepting the offer.

If your child is waitlisted at a school

Stay Positive and Patient:

• If you’re waitlisted, respond to the school’s notification as soon as you can. Let the school know that you would like to remain on the waitlist/waitpool. The sooner you share your interest, the better. Schools will select from students in the waitlist/waitpool when spots become available, so you should secure your spot in the waitpool immediately if you are still interested in the school. You can express continued interest and ask if there’s anything additional you can provide to strengthen your child’s case. Some schools may allow for an additional letter of recommendation or a brief update on your child’s achievements. If there is any new information about your child (ex: new awards or achievements) that you did not have during the application process, this would be a good time to share it with the school.

  Stay Informed:

• Maintain a polite line of communication with the school to stay updated on your waitlist status. Ask about preferences for communication - is an email or a call preferred and how often? Schools will tell you what works for them. At the same time, it’s wise to start looking into other options in case a spot does not open up. There is usually a lot of activity with waitlisted/waitpooled students during the first week after decision notifications and then things slow down.

  Keep the school advised about any admission decisions:

• If you accept a space at another school, be sure to tell the school that you no longer want to be on the waitlist.  You will remain on the waitlist/waitpool for the year you applied for until you tell the school that you no longer want to be considered for a space or until the start of the new school year. (You will need to reapply each year if you are still interested in the school.)

If your child receives a denial

Stay Respectful:

• It can be disappointing, but try to remain gracious and thankful for the opportunity to apply. Rejections are often more about space and fit than a lack of potential. A courteous thank-you note can leave a positive impression for future opportunities if you apply again for a different grade level. Sometimes a denial can open doors to other options that are even better for your child and your family.  Try to look at this as an opportunity to consider additional educational possibilities.

  Do not ask for Feedback:

• Schools generally do not share why your child was not accepted.  It could be for a variety of reasons. Perhaps there was not enough space in the class, or maybe there were many siblings applying for this particular admission season.  The school might have had specific needs – perhaps they needed soccer players or trombone players.   If your child does not have those skills, it might be the reason your child did not get in.  It is impossible to know!

  
  

In conclusion, how you handle an admission decision—whether acceptance, waitlist, or denial—is a reflection of your family's appreciation for the schools and their process. Responding with courtesy and professionalism shows your family’s values and can create positive connections for the future. Remember that, regardless of the outcome, every step in the process is a learning experience, and maintaining a gracious attitude will benefit both your child and your family. The way you handle these decisions can leave a lasting impression and shape the way you approach the next chapter. For more information about how to gracefully deal with admission decisions, contact Lisa Marfisi.